I walk across the coast in a dreamy state
the sand beneath my feet reminding me that
I'm still awake, walking on the beach
The waves crash into the rocks
white foam retreating back into the ocean
while new waves come to splash again
like poetry in motion
The salty wind fills my nostrils
as my eyes fill with tears
of serenity and spectacular beauty
as I stroll across the warm sand
I could walk the beach forever
just as the waves never cease
and everytime the water hit my feet
I would still be as surprised as the first time
the icy chill went through my being
But the sun sets on this day
causing the sea to look darker and foreboding
wanting to grasp you and never lose hold
To me the beauty doesn't stop even in darkness
the silent sounds of the sea, the monstrous sea
humbling all who catch a glimpse of it from time to time
The sea is the only thing that occupies my vision and my mind
It's my world that I can go to all the time
When I need to laugh or need to cry
I sit on a rock, gazing at the sea for a few moments more
Wishing I could stay here and never go home
Because all I need is the sea
to give me strenght when I have none left
Just before leaving I dig my cold feet
Into the thick sand that meets the edge of the sea
Only to feel the it between my toes one more time
Sensing myself becoming one with the ocean
And thanking God that he gave it to me
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
these lines are too long and wordy.
Crash and bash sound weird in teh same line... but it gives an image. But using crash twice in the stanza seemed... repetitive!
Slosh could be foam I suppose.
As my eyes... not as my my, sure just is a typo though.
"of over-emotion and spectacular beauty" I'm not sure I would use Over-emotion... perhaps some other emotion of... serenity?
Beginning 3 stanzas with but put me over edge.
The last line ... shouldn't be there by itself.
All in all it was a good poem... I can't really finish reading and editing it.... *it's early in the morning*
I liked it.